Hi Ms. Angel,
My best friend and I have known each other for almost ten years. He knows me better than anyone. We were roommates in college, and learned a lot about each other during that time, if you know what I mean. He says he’s straight, and he hooked up with lots of girls then. I was always attracted to him, but recently, I’ve become kind of obsessed. I can’t stop thinking about him, and all I want to do is snuggle in bed with him. I’m worried I’m going to ruin our friendship. What should I do? – Lovesick Lamb
Oh sweetie, you have fallen down the path so many have fallen on before. It’s almost a right of passage to fall in love with a straight friend at some point in your life.
That said, you’re about to get some tough love from your Momma Cake. You’re gonna have to push through these feelings. It sucks, and not in the good way. It sounds like you’re pretty sure he’s straight, and even though I’m guilty of spreading the fantasy that straight boys can be converted, that’s really just a fantasy. Telling him how you feel is likely going to make him uncomfortable, and like you said, could really hurt your friendship, which sounds very important to you.
It’s normal and okay to fantasize about him. Some might suggest you avoid that, but I think the more you fight a fantasy, the harder it gets (sometimes literally) to ignore. Give yourself permission to have these fantasies. Don’t get mad at yourself for feeling what you feel.
At the same time, it might be okay to give you two some space. If you haven’t dated in a while or don’t have many other friends, some of these feelings might be part of your closeness with your friend. Still genuine feelings, but just like they’ve evolved to this point, they will evolve more, and you’ll find a happy place again with him as your friend.
With love,
Ms. Angel Food
